If, like me, you’re thinking about losing that couple of extra pounds you’ve gained over the festive period, then this is the recipe for you. You’ll recognise the basics from my pork bastard recipe in December. What we’ve done here is really dialled down the volume, but (I’d like to think) kept the flavour and overall jeopardy of the original dish. 
PETIT PORK BASTARD (serves one)
INGREDIENTS
- Mushroom, any kind, sliced furiously thinly
- About two heads of garlic, to taste
- Some of those little red chillis from the freezer. No: maybe three more than that
- Worcestershire sauce, or similar
- Groundnut oil
- A (one) pork medallion
- A (one) sprout to garnish
[if you’re doing Veganuary, just leave out some of the pork. Also all of the Worcestershire Sauce]
METHOD
- Have a dry sherry. Unless you’re doing dry January. If you are, have an advocaat maybe
- Fry the mushrooms, chilli and garlic until the whole mix begins to soften
- Add Worcestershire sauce liberally to keep the process going
- Keep adding Worcestershire sauce until the mix resembles a sort of purée of Blackjacks
- Scoop the mushroom jam into a bowl and set aside
- Get that sprout on. It’ll need about the same time as the pork
- Get the pan screaming-hot and just suggest some groundnut oil to it. Just, like, tell the pan about the oil. Tease it
- Right: pork in pan; blacken one side; flip it; blacken the other side
- Turn the heat down immediately and cover the medallion with a pan lid to let it sweat the pink out
- Assemble the dish on an egg-cup
- Any leftovers can be made into a healthy dish for seconds
Try not to lick it 